Where Respect is Derived: An Interview to Beijing Hong Dandan Edu-Culture Communication
Long depressed in the dark of social discrimination, the handicapped people are so vulnerable to cold eyes and scorns, so feared to lose dignity, so curled up to fend off injustice that they forget how to open their hearts to the world that has already opened its arms. Blind pursuit of respect, as is the problem for many blind, has distorted them. As the solution, we need to show them our care, and enlighten them how to gain respect, not to beg or to defy.
As usual, the cinema—branded “Eyes of Heart”—was crowded with old patrons and new faces on Saturday morning. Besides the blind friends from inside central Beijing, journalists from all fields of media joined the party-like movie lecture. Leading media companies, such as CCTV and Sohu.com among others, wrenched the small quadrate yard into spotlight and flashguns. The lecture was hosted by a renowned CCTV compere who had professed to serve as a volunteer, but was still surrounded by fans begging for a signature.
Over the past two years, the cinema has been seeing people in and off every weekend just as it did that day. Later on to the mid-noon when the crowd was dismissed, the cinema was back into tranquility with its staff’s bewildered thoughts.
Not until then could Wang Weili and Zheng Xiaojie, the couple responsible for Beijing Hong Dandan Edu-Culture Communication Centre (shorter as Hong Dandan), afford the time for interview. Deeply rooted in my mind was the meet with Ms. Zheng during the 2 year anniversary of the cinema when I could have offered a hand to the blind who needed help in walking but out of selfishness and timidity I didn’t. The sour remorse doubled my respect for the couple and pushed me to ask my first question: How should an NPO worker treat the weak from the individual-to-individual sense?
“Love and care” was the reply. Yes, the overused cliché rings hollow to some, but to them, it compacts the deepest meaning into one simple phrase—yet how? How could the phrase spearhead the voluntary acts into concord? Simple as it may sound, practicing it is another thing. “There must be a proper manner in practice. The “look-down-on-you” manner, which means treating the weak like children, and lashing out too much care and protection, may lead to reliance or resistance among them,” explained Mr. Wang, “while the “look-up-to-you” attitude that sees ever bit of their progress as a great achievement puts us in the wrong place. Equality is the key.”
Attitude is the first lesson that a volunteer should learn. Undeniably, differences exsist among people. Just as illustrated by Mr. Wang, it is no use turning a blind eye to the differences between healthy and handicapped people. The courage to face the differences is the first step to reduce them.
However, just because the volunteers have set straight their attitude doesn’t mean their relationship with the helped is sure to be favorably addressed. How to help the blind “face themselves”, for example, is a challenge Hong Dandan has to come up against.
Some of the handicapped are averse to admit the disadvantages compared with healthy people, and even revolted by the term “the weak” that is conventionally used to describe them. They believe that they can do whatever healthy people can. Worse than that is the inferiority complex deep down inside their hearts that forces them not to face the reality. As to this problem, Ms Zheng said, “the blind people may not realize that Hong Dandan has its own institution that can not be changed to cater to a certain individual. For example, when they are trained here, they are not given special treatment just because they lost sight. By sticking to our institution and principles, we try to nurture healthy mentality in the blind people.”
But it bears no fruit to lay all the responsibility upon one organization in guiding the handicapped. Then how could an individual help heal the rift between the healthy and the handicapped?
Mutual respect is the footstone of any rapport. But the connotation of “respect” brings out two sides of a coin—dignity and vanity. For any individual, including the handicapped, it has to be recognized that too much competition spirit would erode dignity into vanity.
In the opera “the blind” co-produced by Hong Dandan and Director Lin Zhaohua, the life of the human race was visualized with that of the blind. It showed concerns for the present and future of humans and more significantly, cares for the blind. However, even such a humanitarian production could invite suspicion of “discriminating the blind”.
Long depressed in the dark of social discrimination, the handicapped people are so vulnerable to cold eyes and scorns, so feared to lose dignity, so curled up to fend off injustice that they forget how to open their hearts to the world that has already opened its arms. Blind pursuit of respect, as is the problem for many blind, has distorted them. As the solution, we need to show them our care, and enlighten them how to gain respect, not to beg or to defy.
So rises the question—has the mass media fulfilled its obligation of educating the handicapped what is respect, and what is dignity? Regrettably no. And that’s why Mr. Wang, a frequent guest at CCTV interview, is still keen on joining in-depth TV talk shows. Diverting the society’s focus to the mentality of special groups may look like a grand vision to an outsider, yet just a basic attitude to an NPO professional.
In a world that information spreads faster and broader than ever before, that a compliment can be easily misinterpreted to a condemnation, that entertainment prevails over enlightenment, do we have the calm to ponder what to do for the blind? That’s a question to be considered for NPOs and especially for the mass media.
Many NPOs are on good terms with people they help, but still many others fail to cope with such relationship. Sometimes their zealous help upsets the helped. All assistance, be it physical or mental, should be built on respect. Giving no account to the feelings of the helped is itself a sign of disrespect, which could be put down to ineffective or even negative communication.
Respect is derived from communication; after all, humans are social animals.
A World in a Village —A Reporter’s Diary
You belong to the world you are living in, which you may not be able to change; but whatever you are, there is a world that belongs to you. And Tongzhou Care Service Center is such a world for the children and for their mother—Chang Meng.
May 10th—the day long-awaited over the past 20 days. Reportedly a rainy day. But the hilarious sunlight that seeped into the bedroom in the early morning was still dizzying. So much so that the many offensively serious, sensitive and searching questions I had prepared were somewhat blurred or erased out of mind for the moment.
Fortunately, I would not be alone, but had two ladies, Liang Yuqing and Han Jinping, in company. When I saw Liang at the subway station, she was painfully elbowing her way forward against the crowd, with a bundle of Readers magazine in hand that she later said was a gift for the children and the staff in the care center.
Minutes later Han arrived.
“Are you ready?” was her hello.
“Well….uh….yeah…” I murmured with a shivering voice. Nervous and anxious, I stepped onto the train.
The train speeded ahead towards Tongzhou District, leaving behind high-rise skyscrapers, jam-packed roads and other dazzling landmarks of modern civilization. Farther away from the bustling world, we were headed closer to the reclusive world that belonged to Tongzhou Care Service Center (TCSC in short). Like many other NPOs, TCSC settled in a far-flung area. So far that the whole journey turned into a harrowing adventure. Trapped in a broad vacant land, we wandered and wondered which way to go. After a weary search for the bus stop with the help of passers-by, we were taken aback by what we pulled through in the bus we’d been praying for. As crammed as a sardine can, the vehicle bumped along like a ship in the storm. For us the earlier unease about the interview had then been replaced with eagerness to reach the destination. Like a light in the tunnel, we caught a sight of the road sign—Nei Junzhuang. No sooner had the bus pulled over than we swept off. As bus disappeared into the dust, we got back to ourselves before realizing that we were in the middle of nowhere—we got lost again! But this time we had no one that could help. Nothing but disturbing silence….
Turning back along a dirt road, we came to a small village and there we had TCSC in sight. Exhaustedly staring at the gate, I began to doubt whether or not I could face up to the hapless but innocent children, when suddenly a beaming face showed up from behind the gate. “Here to see Director Chang Meng?” asked a man of 30-something, “come with me.”
Soon we got to Chang Meng’s office. Chang Meng, chief director of TCSC, was awarded “Top Ten Charity Celebrities in China” for her incessant 23 years of charity services.
“You guys will talk with Ms. Chang,” said Han Jinping to Liang Yuqing and me, “she’s been waiting for you.” Blank-minded, we froze there, as if still unable to sober from the wearing journey.
“Come on, son,” from the office came a gentle voice, “help me check out what’s wrong with the computer and the printer.” Startled at first by the unusual manner of “greeting”, we went speechless and motionless. But her “surprise attack” worked out—our nervousness was melting away. Having noticed our tension, she told Meng Yan, her “little secretary”, to show us around the sprawling center.
Meng Yan, a thin little girl, was in her third year at elementary school. There were a lot of stories about her—all centered around her miserable life. Now she looked healthy and happy. Her name, Meng Yan (“dreaming wild goose” translated from Chinese), an equally poetic name, was bestowed by Chang Meng (“unfading dream” in English). The little girl buoyantly showed us the meeting room and introduced the photos hanging on the wall. Then we went on to the dining room, the laundry room, as well as the dorms for the children and the teachers as she spelled out every detail about the places we visited.
It was Saturday. So some children were brought home. But the rest of them still showcased what the center had been working on. The children had different problems:
One boy suffering from MBD would laugh and say hello and repeatedly shake hands with anyone who looked him in the eye. Another boy of autism was bending over the desk with a content smile. According to his teacher, he got a full score in reciting the multiplication pithy formula. Not far from him, another kid was giggling all the time. Also in the center there were retarded children, handicapped children, and children diagnostic of aphasia, etc. Fortunately these children lived in a fine environment with clean sheets, lovely cabinets and most prideworth of all, a beautifully dressed dining room where the warm and bright sunshine could drop in through the ceiling window.
To my knowledge, there are organizations specialized in autism such as Beijing Stars and Rain Education Institute, or in mental retard like Huiling Mental Retard Service Center , or in physical disability. However, once realizing how TCSC combines services for different categories of handicaps and how it keeps on the run to earn the children as respectable and comfortable a life as that of a normal child, you will be moved to tears by Chang Meng and her colleagues. At this moment, words are the faintest expression of emotion.
At noon, we were invited to dine with the children and the working staff. Stir-fried vegetable (planted by themselves) and fried cauliflowers with pork—simple but delicious and nutritious—were the children’s favorite cuisine and biggest enjoyment. The food was tempting for the children that it could be used as a big prize. In order to encourage a well-behaved little girl of aphasia to speak, Chang Meng gave her a loaf of pork and asked her to call “mama”. Gathering all her strength, the lovely girl squeezed a slurred sound of voice. “Professionally, this is called positive reinforcement,” said Chang Meng peacefully.
After lunch, we played soccer with the children. Looking at these angelic faces, I sank in a mixed mood, wondering: Do they have dreams? What would their life be like in future? Till when could Chang Meng take care of these children long alienated from the main stream? And what might happen to them once leaving the center?
“If I’m dead, I’ll be free from these concerns. But as long as I’m still alive, I must live with them,” said Chang Meng lightly, “the other day I ran into a car accident. I was thinking if my life ended any moment, I’d be gone with no regrets. But it seems that even God couldn’t let me drop these kids. As for future, there should be someone to take over.” Fearless was the word that instantly popped up in my mind to describe her attitude towards life.
Chang Meng told us that the original drive that pushed her into charity was simply the gratitude towards people who helped her through the most difficult time of her life after a divorce with her ex-husband. As a single mother, she decided to do something for the unfortunate children and their mothers.
As to the rumors widely spread over the internet that she graduated from Renmin University, she responded, “as a mother of so many children, I have to learn different professional knowledge. So I studied psychology at Beijing Normal University. In order to call for more social attention and support, I learned writing at Luxun Research Academy. Now I’m a free writer of a magazine. Also I learned photography at Renmin university to exhibit a better picture and memory of our center.
“I don’t study for myself,” she added, “I do for my kids.”
Now she is already an expert equipped with all professional skills to train the children in the center. Some day, she told us, she will introduce her experience in video discs, a popular practice in some foreign countries.
Her professionalism stood out in every respect. “For curtains, go to large hotels because they spend regular time on the disposal of used stuff,” she sounded particularly eloquent when talking about operational experience, “But if you want social support, you’ll need a media platform. Other than that you need good ideas.”
10:30 Call from Han Jinping saying they are arriving
11:30 Han Jinping, Liang Yuqing and Liu Shaofeng arrive
12:30 Lunch: stir-fried vegetable, fried cauliflowers with pork
….
Chang Meng had a note-taking habit. Just as is shown above, she took down every single detail about the visitors including their names, contact information, and even special skills, and would, if possible, attach photos in the delicate-looking notebook. She proudly dubbed it a “marker tradition” that distinguished her organization from others. Actually she hid other intentions in this practice. First, with the information listed in the book, they could easily track someone if they needed his or her help. Second, the note was a convincing evidence of what they did, clearing off doubts and suspicions that widely exist in China’s NPO landscape.
Upon departure, we could not shift our eyes from the children, their great mother and the tightly-knit family. They had sneaked in our peaceful life. And from that day on, the picture of a tranquil village permeated with love and laugh would recur to me again and again. For in that village a woman created a world.
